


Scenes for/from stories I will probably never write

by dimi13



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 05:23:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12052218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimi13/pseuds/dimi13
Summary: Word Vomit, is what this is.





	1. I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having a lot of trouble writing lately. Probably for like the past year or more. But, here I am and I'm trying my hardest to push myself to begin to write again. It's honestly something I enjoy doing and I have, or had, a lot of fun doing it. Anyway these are just going to be my attempts at getting back into writing. I don't even know how often I'll update. I can't say I'll do it often. 
> 
> Just know that these scenes, or whatever I come up with, won't make it into a story. I honestly don't have the courage to take up a story just yet. As I've said: I'm working on it :)
> 
> So, yea. That's about it for this.
> 
> I won't rate this entire entry with M. I'll more likely label each chapter/scene/update/whatever you want to call it (lol) at the beginning just so you all have an idea of what it's going to be.
> 
> I'll also tag other pairings if that is what I end up writing as time goes on. 
> 
> OK. Wish me luck people because I can already tell this is going to be one long ass bumpy ride :D

Pairing(s): Kaisoo  
Word Count: 650 words  
Tags: Angst, Broken!Kaisoo (sorry)

 

He couldn't ignore the erratic beating within his chest. If he could manage to focus long enough, he is positive he could pinpoint every moment his heart collides against his ribcage. It isn't easy to calm his nerves. Not when he is face to face with him. It has been years and he thought he was over this. He thought he was over those late nights spent fantasizing and hoping for something to flourish between them two. He was holding out for a future that he knew damn well would never and could never happen. 

Jongin had confessed. He had uttered the three words that Kyungsoo had longed to hear so many years ago. But it's that exact fact that makes Kyungsoo hesitate in returning those same three words back. It's too many years too late for this to happen now. Jongin has a family now. He has a wife. He has a child. What nerve does Jongin have to come waltzing back into Kungsoo's life, like nothing ever happened? Acting like he wasn't already tied to someone else that was not Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo's mouth runs dry as the "I love you" slithers enticingly out of Jongin's lips. If only it wasn't right here and right now; things would have been different. They could have been different. There is a moment of tense silence as Kyungsoo licks his lips and tries to swallow through the angry knot of nerves that had settled in his throat.

Time slows down as Jongin waits for Kyungsoo to say something. To respond to his confession of love. His brows furrow in worry and anticipation. He doesn't realize the shy way he traps his bottom lip between his teeth and the way he nervously holds his breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Kyungsoo to either accept him or reject him. Waiting for Kyungsoo to decide whether they will remain as they are, regardless of not quite knowing what they are but knowing they have something going further than mere physical attraction connecting them, or for him to decide to end things here and now. 

Kyungsoo is in control now. He has the power to decide what comes next. No more having to wait and wonder what exactly it is that he and Jongin are. No more waiting and wondering when Jongin will be coming back to Seoul. No more waiting around for Jongin to make contact first, because really it's not like Kyungsoo could have just picked up the phone and dialed Jongin's number risking for the wife to pick up. Or worse. Jongin's daughter. No, Kyungsoo had to wait for Jongin. Always. The more he thought about it, the more he just couldn't let himself falter. Not now when he needed to make a decision that could affect and change the rest of his life for better or worse. Kyungsoo knows it would be the worst decision of his life to accept Jongin now. He knows. But, the thought of leaving Jongin, of not having Jongin anymore, elicits a stabbing pain in his chest and squeezes the oxygen out of his lungs. It hurts so much. It really does. But, Kyungsoo knows that this push and pull can't go on much longer. He can't take any more of this painful uncertainty. His heart can't take it anymore. So, with as much courage and resolution as he can muster, Kyungsoo makes a decision.

"Kyungsoo, I love you."

The words effortlessly hide the plea for Kyungsoo not to go. They shamelessly present themselves as a promise for more and a reason for why Kyungsoo shouldn't go. Jongin cups the right side of Kyungsoo's face as he gently and quietly delivers the words that he knows the other has been waiting for years to hear.

"Jongin..."

"Please...Kyungsoo..."

"..."

"I love you."

With a shaky exhale, Kyungsoo confesses his honest answer to Jongin's love. 

"...Well...I loved you."


	2. Sweet Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jongin is a model and Kyungsoo is a modeling agent. 
> 
> Mentions of cheating o.o
> 
> Rated M for language and slight allusions to drugs and alcohol

Disappointment and betrayal were two emotions that were running rampant in Kyungsoo's heart. He didn't want to know nor did he want to hear what sort of excuse Jongin would come up with to explain himself this time. He should have known better than to believe in a playboy like Kim Jongin aka Kai, one of the most beloved supermodels across Asia. Jongin's every move was always being documented by photographers, fashion journalists and enthusiasts alike. Everybody wanted to know who Kai was beneath the name and the glitz and glamour that came with his job. Unfortunately for Kyungsoo, the man behind the name was always all too willing to give a piece of himself to almost anyone who asked.

The most infuriating thing about this whole situation wasn't even that Jongin had cheated. Not really, because the real person Kyungsoo was most disappointed in, was himself. Disappointed in himself for not seeing the truth behind those sweet lies that Jongin uttered every time they made love or cuddled together on their sofa after a long day. Kyungsoo let his guard down, fully aware that believing in a devil in disguise would only and could only bring sadness and heartache in the end.

Working as a modeling agent in the fashion industry, Kyungsoo had heard the rumors flying around about the infamous Kai. At first, when Kyungsoo was offered the chance to be Kai's agent, the agent flat out refused and with good reason. He had known and unintentionally seen with his own two eyes the piece of work that was Kim Jongin. There were times when Kyungsoo's models had to share the same location for photo-shoots with Jongin and as result the agent had witnessed his fair share of Jongin's sexscapades in the dressing areas and bathrooms of said locations. Before Kyungsoo and Jongin could become acquainted, the agent had already gotten to know the most intimate sides of Jongin without even meaning to. There were numerous moments like this that, at some point, Kyungsoo started to take note that Jongin was never with the same person twice. However, there was always that one person who always seemed to come back for more and Jongin had no problem in giving.

His name was Oh Sehun. Another model that worked under the same agency as Jongin. Kyungsoo had seen Sehun hanging around Jongin quite a few times. So much so that Kyungsoo figured that both models were dating in secret and that Sehun had no idea of the crap that Jongin was doing behind his back. That is, until Kyungsoo had overheard a conversation in which Sehun teased Jongin about how it didn't matter how many female reporters Jongin fucked because Sehun knew he was the better fuck and Jongin would always come back for more. 

Fuck buddies. That's what they were. 

Kyungsoo's body shakes with anger as he recalls that particular conversation. The agent had made sure to ask about Sehun the moment he had agreed to date the model. He asked Jongin if he was still seeing or would continue to see Sehun and what did Jongin reply? “Sehun was just a fling.” He said. “He doesn't mean anything to me.” He said. “I'm done meeting with him. I have you, now.” He said. 

Lies. They were all lies. 

Kyungsoo rubs at his temple with his left hand as he sits on the sofa in his and Jongin's apartment. An opened yellow manilla envelope addressed to him, with no return address and no sender's name, in the grip of his right hand. His eyes shoot daggers at the pictures on top of the coffee table in front of him. Pictures of Jongin and Sehun half naked and in bed together in each other's arms. Kyungsoo would have loved to wipe that content smile on Sehun's face in the pictures, but what would that have accomplished? Yeah, Sehun had made the shameless choice to sleep with Jongin knowing that Jongin was in a committed relationship, but that didn't really matter because the person in the actual relationship was Jongin. It was Jongin's responsibility to keep the promise he made about staying loyal and choosing Kyungsoo over anyone else. A responsibility that Jongin completely ignored. 

To say that Kyungsoo was heartbroken was an understatement. He felt like the floor had given away beneath him and he was now rapidly descending into a seemingly never ending abyss of pain and betrayal and all because he let himself indulge in temptation.

The front door to the apartment opens and Kyungsoo stills. He wasn't ready for this. He didn't want to see his boyfriend, or soon to be ex-boyfriend, right now. He was broken and hurt and the last thing he wanted was to hear more lies.

“Hey, Babe. I'm home~”

Kyungsoo breathes in slowly and forces himself to keep his emotions in check. He doesn't want to be weak and break down in front of Jongin. He's already been humiliated enough as it is.

“Babe, did you hear me? I have good news!”

Jongin moves closer to where Kyungsoo is on the couch in their living room. He walks with a smile on his face because he has just gotten news that a world renown fashion company wants him to be the face of their brand. Jongin is ecstatic to tell his sweet boyfriend, but as he gets closer his eyes land on the small coffee table and the dozen pictures on full display in front of Kyungsoo. His eyes widen and his mouth falls open in shock.

“You lied to me.”

“Kyungsoo, what is this? I-”

“I don't want to hear it, Jongin! You lied to me! Everything that comes out of your mouth are just lies! I asked you if what you had with Sehun was over and you said it was, but here...these pictures...why...how...”

Kyungsoo's voice breaks and he finds that he is having a hard time keeping it together. He mentally berates himself because, fuck, when did he let himself become so weak? Kyungsoo has had enough and he really did not want to argue with Jongin like this. Not when he felt so completely and utterly broken. He lets the yellow envelope fall from his hand as he rises from the couch and makes his way towards the bedroom. He takes a step forward, but is stopped by Jongin's hand wrapping around his wrist.

“Soo, stop. Please, listen to me. I can explain. This isn't what it looks like. I didn't sleep with him. I was telling the truth when I said that me and Sehun were over.”

“Don't lie to me, Jongin.”

“I am not lying! I have never lied to you. Kyungsoo, I love you. Please understand that. I only love you and no one else. I would never do anything to hurt you!”

Jongin makes a move to pull Kyungsoo into his arms, but the other yanks his wrist away before he could let Jongin have his way. Kyungsoo is about to walk away again but Jongin is quicker and he holds Kyungsoo by the shoulders and forces him to face him.

“Soo, look at me. Please, believe me. I love you too much for me to lose you like this. I changed because of you. I changed for you. Please, you have to believe me. No one else means anything to me. You're the only person I've ever truly cared about.”

Kyungsoo doesn't look up at Jongin nor does he want to because he knows that once he looks into those beautiful brown eyes, his resolve will crumble. He would be lying if he said he wasn't crazy in love with Jongin because he was. He loved Jongin to the point it hurt to be away from him sometimes. Kyungsoo had fallen deeply in love with Jongin past the point of no return and now it seemed he was suffering the consequences of loving a man who only ever left a trail of broken hearts wherever he walked.

“Baby, please. I'm begging you.”

Jongin cups Kyungsoo's face and tries to make the other look up at him. However, Kyungsoo pushes Jongin's hand away and picks up one of the dozen pictures scattered on the coffee table and shoves it into Jongin's chest.

“You, better than anyone, should know that a picture is worth a thousand words.”

Jongin glances at the picture of him half naked and asleep with Sehun's arm over him. This wasn't right. The last time he had seen Sehun was months ago at that after party in New York City that the agency had thrown after one of his modeling shows. Kyungsoo couldn't make it because he had another model to tend to for another show.

One drink. One drink is all Jongin had, but for some reason it felt like he had drank the whole bar and then everything had become hazy and blurred. He couldn't stand straight after that and all he could remember was Sehun offering to help him to his room and then...nothing. 

“Kyungsoo, please-”

“Stop. Just stop. I don't want to do this right now. I just want to sleep and not think. I want to be alone.”

Jongin watches as his beloved boyfriend retreats into the bedroom and leaves him in their living room alone. He lets out a frustrated sigh and takes a seat where Kyungsoo was sitting. He glances at all the other pictures on the coffee table and buries his face in his hands. He wonders who would have the audacity to fake these pictures and make them end up in Kyungsoo's hands. He knew for a fact that he hadn't slept with Sehun. He would never do something like that to Kyungsoo.

Jongin's world feels like it's falling apart and he is about to lose his mind and patience when he spots the yellow envelope on the floor near his feet. He looks at the object with curiosity because the writing on the envelope seemed really familiar. He had seen this handwriting somewhere. Jongin reaches over to pick up the envelope to get a better look at the handwriting. He reads the words written on the front out loud.

“To Mr. Do Kyungsoo...”

He isn't sure how, but as he finishes uttering the last syllable, everything suddenly clicks. Of course, he knew this handwriting. He has seen it a hundred times. He would be stupid to forget something like this. There were and are so many autographs done with this same exact handwriting that Jongin is sure if he searched it up online right in that instant he would most definitely find what he was looking for. 

“That fuckin bastard!”

The yellow envelope crumples in Jongin's fist as he figures out exactly who is responsible for this. He jumps off of the couch with a start and grabs his car keys on his way out of the apartment. Jongin had decided a long time ago that he would not lose Kyungsoo because of his old ways. He had sworn to himself that he would leave that part of his life behind and start fresh with the love of his life. So, he would be damned if he would let some crazy lunatic ex-fuck buddy ruin his relationship with Kyungsoo. Jongin's patience had run out and he was done putting up with that lunatic's jealous antics.

Sehun had to pay for what he had done and Jongin was going to make sure of it.


	3. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhm...ill fated love(?)  
> .   
> .   
> .   
> It's basically just a very unfortunate situation for the couple...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also all phrases noted with "~" are Jongin's inner thoughts....unfortunately I can't italicize on here ;-;

The loud screeching of tires and the shattering of glass slit through the silence of the calm and quiet night. Low and painful groans followed soon afterward as a weak and bruised up body attempted to roll over and away from the debris, but the pain that shot up their leg was enough to paralyze them where they laid. They had never seen the other car coming until it was too late and the sharp sound of metal against metal pierced through the air and their car had been sent tumbling sideways and colliding aggressively against the midnight black asphalt road.

The potent smell of burning rubber and gasoline lingered in the air and it made the injured driver dizzy with fear. Beyond the sound of rushing blood in their ears, they could also hear the faint drip-drop of a liquid substance. Their adrenaline started to kick in right then and there as the possibility that the car would catch on fire and explode could happen at any given moment. Still disoriented, the driver couldn’t tell what was up or down; the world looked like it had been tilted 180 degrees. Vaguely realizing that they might have severely injured their leg in the impact, they were more careful as they tried to remove themselves from the wreckage, again. Broken shards of glass dug deep into the palms of their hands as they clumsily crawled out through one of the broken car windows. Their arms trembled as they tried to keep their upper body up and moving. The cold asphalt beneath their body was rough against their tender and battered skin but still they kept crawling further away from what once resembled a working vehicle. Out of breath and thoroughly exhausted, they collapsed with their back on the cold hard ground.

They did not take notice of the pair of car headlights a few meters away. They did not see the pair of black combat boots that climbed out of the unknown car and the way slender legs made slow and purposeful strides towards them. It was only when those combat boots stopped almost a foot away from the injured driver's face that the collapsed man began to stir. 

Their vision was blurry and faded in and out of focus. The world seemed foreign and for a second they couldn’t remember how or why they were on their back looking up at the dark night sky. Only there wasn’t just the dark night sky above them. They furrowed their eyes in confusion because how could this person be here? They tried to raise their arms but the excruciating hot flash of pain that followed made them whimper out loud. They wanted to know what was happening. How was it possible that this person was here? They briefly entertained the thought that they were hallucinating, but that thought was quickly thrown away.

"Jongin..."

There was no way he could believe what was happening. He hadn't heard that voice call his name in years. It was not possible to hear it after all the time that had passed.

"Jongin, I'm so sorry..."

Jongin willed himself to focus his vision because he needed to see them with his own eyes. Their voice was very faint and Jongin could not believe that it was really them, but their presence, right next to him, felt so absolutely real. He needed to see that it was them right there in front of him and not his mind that was trying to make a fool out of him. Jongin opened his eyes slowly and tilted his head to gaze up at the unknown figure that hovered over him. The back of his throat went dry as he set his sights on the man just above him. Jongin’s body went completely still while his mind’s entire sense of ‘what was real’ utterly fell apart the moment frigid pale hands cradled his head upwards.

"Please, don’t close your eyes. Jongin, stay with me. You can't leave me."

Jongin attempted to speak but it all came out in an incomprehensible mess.

"Don't try to speak. I'll explain everything later...just please...please stay with me."

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. A brow furrowed in both concern and worry adorned the other man's face. Those familiar big eyes, that Jongin used to lose himself in, were now stained red and brimming with tears. Jongin couldn't help but feel so elated at the sight and yet so very pissed off and confused all at the same time because he still couldn't believe that this person could be there. Through the haze and the pain he knew he wasn’t just hallucinating. He could feel the soft skin of the other man's hands on his face as they wiped away at the blood falling from his wounds. A content sigh escaped Jongin's lips at being able to feel the touch of the man he thought he would never be able to see or talk to ever again. A person that Jongin could never have hoped to have in his arms one last time, no matter how much he had screamed and pleaded at the heavens above to return him.

"Kyungsoo!"

~He's alive...~

Jongin could feel Kyungsoo flinch against him at the sudden sound of the booming voice that had called his name.

"Kyungsoo, what do you think you're doing?! You need to finish this now!"

"Screw you! I can't-"

Jongin could hear the overwhelming distress in Kyungsoo’s voice as the man tried to speak. Kyungsoo’s panic and indecisiveness was evident in his voice and Jongin felt downright useless at not being able to help his beloved in any way.

The sound of footsteps moved closer the more Kyungsoo remained quiet and failed to make the choice the unknown third party wanted him to make.

"Kyungsoo, if you don't do this now you know what will happen!"

"I know what will happen!”

“If you know then get on with it then!”

Kyungsoo’s hands trembled against Jongin’s head. All Jongin wanted was to pull Kyungsoo down against him and tell him that it was going to be alright. To tell Kyungsoo that he was not going anywhere, that whatever Kyungsoo decided it was going to be okay because he was alive and they could be together again. Jongin wanted to tell Kyungsoo that he would never let anything happen to the other man for as long as he lived-

"You need to kill him."

What little blood Jongin had left in his body goes ice cold upon hearing the finality and threat that underlined those last words. 

~Kill? Kill who?~

The answer to Jongin’s questions came in the form of his beloved looking over him with nervous eyes. Kyungsoo’s internal turmoil and inability to make a choice was blatantly obvious all over his face. 

“You know I can’t do it. I love him. He means too much to me….you knew from the start...and yet you still….please don’t make me do this….”

~Kyungsoo...~

Jongin doesn't need to look or ask twice to know who was suppose to kill who. The unknown person had ordered Kyungsoo to kill him and Kyungsoo was hesitating. Jongin didn't know if he should feel betrayed or relieved in that moment. 

Betrayed because how could Kyungsoo come back only to kill him? Did their love really mean so little to him? Or, relieved because at least Jongin would know that he wouldn't have to live his life without Kyungsoo any longer. He couldn't go back to how he was living when he didn't have Kyungsoo with him. He couldn't bare to go through that again. Especially not now that he knew that Kyungsoo was still alive. 

"Kyungsoo do it now! Or, I'll do it myself!"

"FUCK! SHUT UP!"

Kyungsoo’s deep and guttural reply made Jongin jump in surprise. He had never heard Kyungsoo yell like that to anyone. Jongin could feel his head touch the hard ground beneath him as Kyungsoo gently lowered his head back down. The pain in his neck was unbearable and Jongin let out a heavy sigh as his head was lowered.

~So, this is how it ends...~

Jongin heard the click of what he could only assume was a gun. He looked up and was almost instantly filled with regret as he witnessed Kyungsoo raise his arm with a firearm in hand. Jongin took one last look at his beloved before he slowly shut his eyes and waited for the darkness to take him. The last thing Jongin heard was the loud echoing bang of a gun being fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purpose of closure for some of you...I would not have had Kyungsoo kill Jongin if I had written a longer and more detailed story lol probably would've had Kyungsoo shoot at the third party and have him run away with Jongin....   
> I would have used this excerpt as the ending scene for a cliff hanger chapter, though 


End file.
